An experience that fosters family bonding

An experience that fosters family bonding

Published on: January 16, 2023 Binu Thomas | E Care Parent, Sr. Landscape Consultant, Abu Dhabi

As Peter Buffett described it, it did not matter how big our house was.
What mattered was the love that was in it.

This is the same feeling I get once I read these verses, because these verses beautifully capture the exact same feeling I get whenever I think of my family. In fact, I have been blessed more than the rest of my cousins. This is because I have been pampered and loved more by my grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and cousins' families than any of my cousins. The truth is that we've all been busy with time and responsibilities as well. Therefore, there has to be effort and openness instead of allowing our thoughts to run away. This is when we are not together. Therefore, this is an honest effort to help others revive their relationships and bond with their loved ones. There are a few key points to keep in mind in order to create a more conducive family environment.

Holding daily prayers together

It is a fact that raising a family is not an easy task, particularly given the limitations and unpredictability of this 'new normal' in today's world. Moreover, it is also true that what might have worked for families many years ago may no longer be able to stand the test of time. This is where prayer plays an invaluable role. Saint Teresa of Calcutta, also known as Mother Teresa, believed in the power of prayer to bring peace and love. She once said, “A Family that prays together, stays together”. Prayer is the foundation of a family, and it fosters a great deal of love and helps to strengthen family bonds. No matter what religion, caste, or creed you are, this is an insightful message that everyone should remember. There are some people who will argue that anything that a family does together will have the same effect, whether that is eating together, playing cricket or football, fishing, or watching movies together, regardless of how they do it. There is a point in which you are right, but these are all natural activities. The power of prayer goes beyond just saying a prayer. There is a supernatural element to it.

As a child, I always saw my parents beginning their day in prayer and ending their day in prayer as well. We were taught the importance of prayer by them. In the deepest, darkest moments of my life, what really got me through those trying times was a prayer. From them, I learned that sometimes their prayer was "Help us" and most of the time it was "Thank you". I learned from my parents that I have always been able to get through life because of the intimate connection and communication I have with my creator. Because I know that my support is just a prayer away, I know I have my help when I need it. We all depend on prayer to keep us connected to one another and to keep us united. No matter what religion we follow, faith teaches us love, care, compassion.

Identify family members who can be role models for your children

According to John Wooden, "the most significant thing in the world is family and love." This is a saying that holds true regardless of what one thinks. It is not a wise idea to look for role models outside of yourself because no one is flawless. Identify a role model in your family that will help you stay in touch and create a bond between you and your family members. Many good people are around you and, in this world, but all you need to do is seek their inspiration. It is important to note that the biggest benefit of having a role model within the family is that they are easily accessible. You don’t need to take appointments or wait in queues. I look up to my parents as my absolute role models in life. I could love and accept them as my role models because I saw them always loving and respecting my grandparents. Despite the differences that are bound to exist between my uncles and aunts, I am amazed by the love and care they have for their brothers and sisters. Regardless of what it may be. This not only captivates me, but is also truly captivating.

Earn respect by forgiving

The fact that people make mistakes is a natural part of life, and it is important to forgive people when they make mistakes in the future. As my father used to say, "Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, doesn't he? Having the ability to say sorry takes a strong person and it takes an even stronger person to be able to apologize.

To forgive takes immense strength, and to not repeat the same mistake in the future takes even greater strength. Family forgiveness facilitates the development of true love, blind trust, and deep respect, which must be learned. As a result, many of us within the family have been forgiven, and we have all come one step closer to remaining united. It is not possible to bring respect to someone. It must be earned and to be honest, it is easier to earn money than to earn respect. It was they who taught me that brothers and sisters are nature's way of providing insurance to the family. Is there something wrong with what you did? There is nothing like a brother or sister to come to your rescue! I realized that this statement was true for me when I had my own brother in my life to illustrate the truth of this statement. In this way, when they got to know or found out that any of their siblings had committed a sin, they forgive them and never poked at them in the future. As a result, the relationship within the family has been strengthened.

Do not compare yourself with your siblings - love them instead

There is no doubt in my mind that my parents are the perfect example of what a brother and a sister should be. As well as being there for their siblings whenever they needed them, they also extended their acceptance to each new member who joined their siblings as a partner whenever they joined their sibling's family. In our family, we do not have any in-laws. This is just another sister and brother relationship.

It was a day on June 4th, 1981 that, for a five-and-a-half-year-old boy, was the happiest day of his life. In his mind, he knew that he had got his bag full of happiness, because he was aware that there would be someone at the end of his life who would be able to speak their own language. As the days passed, he began to use frowns, winks, smiles, and snarls instead of words to communicate with each other, and it was a wonderful experience. Over the years he has always helped him, annoyed him, quarreled with him, but most importantly, he has always been there for him no matter what. There was no love lost between them as they went to school together, fought on the way and back to school, but their love never faded. A good brother is like having a best friend by your side at all times. Although we have always felt mutual love and admiration for each other, it is nice sometimes to let him know how much he means to us. The world would be filled with happiness if all brothers were as sweet as mine. The two of them do not always see eye to eye, but they always have a heart to heart relationship. We laugh at jokes, our own catchphrases and are able to understand the joys and pains of each other. As far as he is concerned, he cannot imagine anyone who would make a better best friend than his brother. This boy was without a doubt none other than myself.

We devoted a great deal of love and care to every new child who was born into our family, and over time they learned this from us. I believe that accepting and loving our siblings' children as our own is something beyond divine that we all learnt from our parents. We are now passing on to our children. You will never be able to witness any sibling rivalry once you have this acceptance. Instead, you will be able to see immense celebrations within your family and that you will be happy for your sibling as well. It is with great pride that I can say today that I share a special bond with my cousins as well, along with him. It was a proud moment for one of my cousins to be selected as an Inspector at the Central Board of Indirect Taxes and Customs. Our entire family is delighted for him, and we cousins are among the happiest.

Enjoy sweets and nuts

As the old saying goes, "Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts added in." I am a nut as well, and my family has shaped me into the person I am today. "Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends - they will never go out of style." As Niki Taylor once said, "Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends - they will never go out of style.". Our family is a circle of strength of love, and with every new birth and every union, the circle is growing. It is true that this saying holds true because every single child starting from my elder son, who became a part of not just my family, but also my extended family, brings immense joy and blessing to my life. In many ways, we are blended families: we are woven together by choice, we are strengthened by love, we are tested by everything, and we are each one of a kind. As long as you have your family by your side, you will be able to stand tall and strong in the future. Keep celebrating the successes, but never give up on the nuts. They're more loyal and lovable.

Maintain a close relationship with your parents and old friends

There is nothing more to celebrate than the fact that we have good family and friends who are close to us. Family is not defined by our genes; it is built and maintained through love." There are a lot of people out there who feel they are standing tall and strong because of their capabilities, but what they do not realize is that it was God's grace and the ability of their parents who never abandoned them at any juncture and brought them up in a challenging environment. There is nothing sadder than seeing these parents languishing in old age homes because their kids start to feel that there is no room for them in their so-called new lives and it makes me feel even worse. People often overlook the fact that time is powerful, and one fine day they will find themselves in the same position as they did one fine day. While many may deny this based on their arrogance, I have seen instances in which people that I know regretted the day they disowned their parents without knowing that they would face rejection and loneliness someday.

As a matter of fact, there is a famous saying that says the older the wine, the better it will taste. The same is true for friends as well. If you have a good friend, they will walk into your life and stay there even when the rest of the world walks out on you. It is not easy to find loyal friends because they are hard to come by. Our friends are the family we choose to be a part of, and if we are wise, we will choose the best of friends for ourselves. It is a great pleasure for me to have some pure souls as friends. I have chosen a family that is very close to my heart and a part of my original family. I am very happy to have found this family.

It's all up to you

As a matter of fact, instead of blaming others for what happened, you should always ask yourself, “What have I done?”. In my life, I have always taken responsibility for identifying my faults and recognizing the goodness of the people in my life, regardless of the faults I have within myself. We should have a "Let it go" attitude and not ruin our present moment by thinking back to the past and regretting what went wrong in the past. Keep your ego aside if you had an argument or a fight with someone within your family and be the first to apologize. Throughout my life, there have been times when I was absolutely right, but I was at the receiving end of my arguments. Yet, I remained calm for the sake of the relationship and I waited for the right time to express my beliefs and thoughts. In fact, that helped me to strengthen the relationship between us. In fact, today I feel so happy and humbled to be able to say that I am blessed to have such a wonderful set of parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends and on top of it all a loving family who is all a part of my life.

 Concluding remarks

There are a lot of things that do not happen so quickly and easily. Despite the fact that we are all humans, we tend to make mistakes from time to time. Perhaps you are witnessing or experiencing a fractured relationship within your family or you are part of it. Take a moment to reflect on what you did in order to restore order. As soon as tempers have calmed down, it is imperative that both parties have an opportunity to share their views. Give each individual the opportunity to express his or her point of view. You should be the first one to apologize even if you may not be in the wrong. However, you should learn to put your ego aside and express your regrets. It is a magic word and you will see a difference as soon as you say it. Rather than trying to justify or blame the other person, take responsibility for your actions and focus all your energy on showing compassion and care to them. There is a certain amount of give and take in every relationship. In order to foster a sense of happiness and fulfillment when you are living in close quarters with another person, it is essential that you are considerate of their needs and preferences, without sacrificing your own in order to foster a sense of happiness and fulfillment. There is no doubt that spending time with friends can have a powerful impact on your mental health. It can help you develop a stronger sense of self as well. The best way to overcome feelings of jealousy, fear, isolation, and other negative emotions is to arrange a small gathering every once in a while, and act as a bridge between family members and extended family members.

What I have always thought is that I did not choose my family but that it is a gift from God to me. Imagine trying to keep a family of eighty-four members together at all times. It is no easy task, but it is a collective effort of all the members of the family that keeps the family together. In spite of our differences, we recognize the need for togetherness, and we long for it. There is nothing more powerful than the bond of family, built on faith, bonded by love, and kept together forever by God because he loves us so much. As branches on a tree, our families are like branches on a tree. In spite of the fact that we have grown in different directions and in different parts of the world, our roots remain the same. In the words of Barbara Bush, "When all the dust has settled and all the crowds have disappeared, the things that matter most in the end are faith, family, and friends."

Binu Thomas
E Care Parent, Sr. Landscape Consultant, Abu Dhabi